FLICK'N'BEANS
Longtime friends and bandmates Bridget and Wendy review one movie each week over fancy coffees every Sunday morning. Includes lots of swearing, laughing, and dog panting. Sometimes other friends join in.
You'll like this if you like "How Did This Get Made?" or "Unspooled."
FLICK'N'BEANS
EP 141: BALLS UP - C'mon, Just Take a Little Sniff. It's a Celebration!
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Good Morning!!!!!
Honestly, why haven't they invented a condom that also covers the skittle-sacks before? Join us as we explore the versatility and durability of the Balls Up Condom to Brazil and beyond! Well, just to Argentina, actually.
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Good morning.
>> Wendy:Good morning.
>> Bridget:I'm Bridget. And I'm Wendy and this is Flickin Beans.
>> Wendy:Thank you for getting me a coffee.
>> Bridget:It's the new and improved cold brew.
>> Wendy:Okay.
>> Bridget:They never say improved cold brew. Yeah, because that totally makes it sound like it was garbage before.
>> Wendy:Yeah. Why does adding new change that?
>> Bridget:But it feels better in a way that it was good before, but now it's even better.
>> Wendy:I would say this definitely tastes more like coffee than anything else that we've gotten there.
>> Bridget:Right.
>> Wendy:More of a light brew than a dark.
>> Bridget:The syrup at the bottom.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:Like you stirred your whole s*** ton and out it was like. Yeah, I'm getting strawfuls of syrup. I mean, in a way I don't mind, but in another way it tastes just like the Hershey's out of the can.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:And my grandma would like pierce two sides of. Just like you'd do a hi C can.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:Do you remember that?
>> Wendy:I do remember that.
>> Bridget:You served your kids a drink out
>> Wendy:of a can and you had to
>> Bridget:cut the two holes just so it would pour. Oh, my God. Anyway, it tastes like grandma's. She even had a plastic lid to put on it.
>> Wendy:Oh, to save it.
>> Bridget:So she would put it in the fridge.
>> Wendy:Yeah, yeah.
>> Bridget:But that's. That's the taste. I could have done better on that. So today is raining and my wiper's on medium. So I get to the seven Brew and I guess I've never been there in the rain before. So I sent you a picture and I said, oh my God, I'm dead.
>> Wendy:Okay. I haven't looked at it yet.
>> Bridget:No, this is on air. Surprise.
>> Wendy:Okay, let me describe what I'm looking at here. So it's a seven Brew employee, which if you've never been, they come out with their iPad and get your order from the car so that the line moves faster. And he's wearing like what looks like a British phone booth. Over top of him. It's like a pop up tent.
>> Bridget:His legs are at the bottom.
>> Wendy:Yeah. And it's square. It's like clothes. Hampers that are mesh that you can pop open.
>> Bridget:Oh my God, you're right. They probably are.
>> Wendy:Yeah. But he's wearing it over their head.
>> Bridget:Do you see the armholes?
>> Wendy:Oh, my gosh, yes. There's. In the screen, there's a little red circle where you can put your arm through and you could zip up the front and the side. Like a tent.
>> Bridget:Yeah. And they're just walking around like that. Like walking. Phone booth.
>> Wendy:Functional.
>> Bridget:Yeah.
>> Wendy:Keeps the iPad out of the Rain.
>> Bridget:That's true.
>> Wendy:A poncho wouldn't do that, so.
>> Bridget:Oh, my God. It's geniusly hilarious. Okay, so I said that tied into the movie.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:Okay. Our movie this week Balls up. And the reason I thought it tied in so well is it reminded me of the p**** mascot.
>> Wendy:Oh, God. Yeah.
>> Bridget:I don't remember the German word for hot dog, but Mark Wahlberg does.
>> Wendy:Yes.
>> Bridget:A big hot dog, but with legs.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:This is a phone with legs sticking out. It's like a seven brew mascot. Yes.
>> Wendy:I'm gonna have to post that on our Instagram so you guys can see. That was great. So. Yes. Movie balls up 2026. Currently streaming on Amazon prime and starring
>> Bridget:Mark Wahlberg and Paul Walter Hauser. All the reviews say Paul Walter Hauser improves everything. Have we ever seen him in another buddy comedy?
>> Wendy:I. I know I've seen him and stuff before, but he's. He's never the leading guy. He's usually a. Yeah. A buddy or a sidekick kind of role.
>> Bridget:Mark Wahlberg plays Brad, and he plays Elijah. It's a Farrelly brothers movie. All their movies are hilarious. This one wasn't.
>> Wendy:Yeah, this one fell flat for me too. I was disappointed. I knew it was gonna be cheesy because of the premise, and it has a really good cast. I saw Molly Shannon in it, but she's barely in it.
>> Bridget:Barely.
>> Wendy:But they show her in the trailer, so I was like, oh, I love Molly Shannon. I love Mark Wahlberg.
>> Bridget:Oh, y. Yeah, he was disappointing.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:It was the character. When he did his presentation to the Brazilian Soccer association or whatever it is, he totally put on the Persona of Brazilian. That was hilarious. And it's just like when I worked at the restaurant, I would be a little bit weirder when I was trying to speak Spanish. You know, like that Babel commercial on the radio. She says, babble, babble, babble. Now she speaks French, and she says, yo quiero.
>> Wendy:No yo quiero taco, Babel.
>> Bridget:Basically, she says, I like babble, but she goes, babel. So it just cracks me up. But that was great. And that showed his ability to sell a product. Let's talk about the product.
>> Wendy:Yes. Why haven't they thought of this before?
>> Bridget:I know.
>> Wendy:So Elijah is a developer, an inventor, if you will, of things, and they work for the Blue Condom Company, and he develops a condom that also covers the testicles, which really makes sense.
>> Bridget:I mean, that was Molly Shannon's best line. When she says yes, I felt balls lightly tapping against me. It isn't good.
>> Wendy:No.
>> Bridget:Is this a way of saying that nobody likes balls.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:Yeah.
>> Wendy:I think that's a large theme of the movie.
>> Bridget:He had a PowerPoint presentation with a p**** and the v***** and then the balls and pointing out all the bacteria that's in the balls. Everyone around the boardroom table is nodding.
>> Wendy:Yeah. Yes. Yes.
>> Bridget:Do you think if this product existed, though, that men would want to use it?
>> Wendy:No, they don't want to use regular condoms.
>> Bridget:No. But we have to say that they go through more condoms when the World cup is on than the Olympics.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:That's a little nuts. But it's all teams.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:Let's just run the numbers.
>> Wendy:True. The Olympics are a lot of solo sports. The Olympics are famous for being just a huge orgy.
>> Bridget:You told me that.
>> Wendy:Yeah. Like the Olympic Village.
>> Bridget:That makes sense.
>> Wendy:Yeah. It's.
>> Bridget:It's funny to think they have those uncomfortable cardboard beds.
>> Wendy:They're athletes, though. They.
>> Bridget:That's right.
>> Wendy:They can make it work.
>> Bridget:They can acrobaticize that s***.
>> Wendy:This is timely because the US Is hosting the World cup this year.
>> Bridget:Right.
>> Wendy:So I'm thinking about all the condoms that will be sold.
>> Bridget:Obviously, it's not about this World cup because there was no World cup in 2025. How often does it come around?
>> Wendy:Four years.
>> Bridget:Oh, just like the Olympics.
>> Wendy:They could have made it more evergreen, but they definitely mentioned that it's the 2025 World cup several times.
>> Bridget:The idea was brilliant. And it was so ripe for so many gags.
>> Wendy:Yeah. I kept comparing it to the movie, the Package that I know. Yeah.
>> Bridget:I was like, that was non stop.
>> Wendy:Yeah. It was just like, you think it's gonna be like one long d*** joke, and it's really not even about the condom much. It becomes about this whole drug cartel.
>> Bridget:Yeah.
>> Wendy:It becomes like a weird crime movie. I don't know.
>> Bridget:Which is kind of. Kind of throwing shade on Brazil.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:I mean, sure, there's that there, but that whole bit could have gone faster.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:I didn't need Sacha Baron Cohen, but I did like the idea that he was Gisele Bunching. How do you say it?
>> Wendy:I don't know.
>> Bridget:I said that way too many times. The first guy that they get together
>> Wendy:with, he works for the. For Brazil's soccer team. He's on board to make the condom the official condom of the Brazil soccer team.
>> Bridget:And to celebrate, they're out having a drink. Turns out this guy has been sober for nine years.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:And he's got the coin. And f****** Mark Wahlberg just goes, well, just take a sniff. Just smell it.
>> Wendy:Who does that.
>> Bridget:Who does that? He pushed and pushed and he did.
>> Wendy:He's like, come on, it's a celebration. I was like, do you think this guy has not had something to celebrate in nine years?
>> Bridget:Right.
>> Wendy:Like, leave him alone.
>> Bridget:It's ridiculous.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:And of course he smells it, chugs it, ends up smoking crack.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:Okay, but we've got Elijah. He's got germaphobia, a fear of public speaking. It starts with his presentation of the condom to the A table full of executives for the condom coming. It's so painful because he just goes on and on about how he hates speaking in front of people.
>> Wendy:And he's sweating so much through his coat and everything.
>> Bridget:He's a chubby guy.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:The two of them make the perfect team. They hate each other, but they have to, you know, the whole buddy comedy.
>> Wendy:Yeah. It's the formula. Elijah's all steak and Mark is all sizzle. They learn from each other that you can't be all one or the other.
>> Bridget:Just like 21 Jump Street.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:The helicopter.
>> Wendy:Yeah. Say something cool.
>> Bridget:Something cool.
>> Wendy:Another example of a similar movie that just was so much better. I can't think of even, like, one joke really that stood out for me in this. That stuck with me.
>> Bridget:There's some sight gags that did. On the wooden boat that you have to paddle. It's the size of a pontoon.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:They're going down the river. The old woman. Well, wait, it's a man. I thought it was a woman. It was the long hair.
>> Wendy:Oh, yeah.
>> Bridget:Told them in the native language, don't pee in the river because it has those fish that swim up your d***.
>> Wendy:That was. Oh, you thought it was a woman, but it was a man. Right, Okay. I was like, that was a man. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the one girl's Patchouli Sarah, or whatever her name was, was sleeping with him.
>> Bridget:But he had a two pronged p****. Yeah.
>> Wendy:It was split like he did it.
>> Bridget:Yeah. You have so many questions. Anyway, when they escape on the boat, actually escaping that clan of hippies because they're actually killing poachers. Yeah. Oh, my God. And then having their lovemaking place under where they hung them.
>> Wendy:Yeah. I just remembered it's Patchouli Julie, though, not Sarah. That makes it more sense.
>> Bridget:Patchouli Julie. I like it. She was a s*** sleeping with everybody but her boyfriend and another guy. So back to the floating rickety barge made of wood, untreated splinters. Exactly. Elijah has to pee. And we know from subtitles what the old man said. He decided at the last second, maybe we should save the urine. And starts peeing in a jar. We're like, great. And then he remembers that he knows this river. I think they just read on the plane the magazine.
>> Wendy:Yeah, yeah, the magazine was there. It's like.
>> Bridget:And so he goes, oh, I know what this river is. Crisis averted. Meanwhile, there's Wahlberg peeing off the side of the boat. And he goes, wow, look at these little fish. I can't believe that that happens from that distance.
>> Wendy:It doesn't. No, but it does happen.
>> Bridget:We're smaller. These were, like, sardine size.
>> Wendy:Yeah. They would not fit in your pee hole.
>> Bridget:He grabs the end of his stick, and he's like, I gotta get it out of there. Get it out of there. I'm squeezing so it doesn't go any further in. Lays on his back, and Elijah's. Poor Elijah. I go, nope, he's gonna have to use his teeth. It's too slippery. I was calling it, calling it, calling it. He's like, it's too sl. Your teeth. A germaphobe. B. Yeah. I wouldn't even want to do it, and I've been that close. Yeah.
>> Wendy:There was never a fish there, though.
>> Bridget:Oh, right. Well, it was never a real d***.
>> Wendy:No.
>> Bridget:Yeah. The cartel is greatly interested in these condoms. Kind of saved them from getting killed. When Elijah pulls out this. And the cartel, of course, I called that too. We're gonna fill those with even more cocaine. And you swallow them. They made them swallow them.
>> Wendy:Yes. Which is absolutely not.
>> Bridget:No. That you couldn't do that. They don't stuff them full. It was like balloon animals with balls. Wahlberg gets his down with great trouble. And I'm just like, you could never.
>> Wendy:No, I was gagging during that whole scene. Well, yeah, because you're just thinking about, like, they absolutely cannot swallow because he
>> Bridget:was trying to push it in and out. And I'm just like, no. You tried your best to look like you've never done that before. When Elijah swallows his, he opts to go balls first. And they're like, bold choice. I figured if I got those down, the rest would go.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:Which is a great idea.
>> Wendy:Yeah. Honestly.
>> Bridget:Goodness.
>> Wendy:It tracks. He's a designer, an engineer. Uhhuh.
>> Bridget:He understand.
>> Wendy:I get it. Like, the gag literally was there, but then it went on for, like, five minutes.
>> Bridget:Way too long.
>> Wendy:And you're like, I don't need to see them trying to do this over and over and over again and gagging me. No.
>> Bridget:Yeah. Yeah. It didn't go where I thought it Would go either.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:I thought it would just be the simple thing of the balls up. Is the new mascot of Argentina.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:But it wasn't. I mean, it became the official condom. It was so ridiculous.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:Oh, well. We didn't even talk about war, why they got kidnapped. It's the f****** hot dog.
>> Wendy:Back to the hot dog.
>> Bridget:Yes. It was p****** him off because he was like, that's a giant d***. It even held balls.
>> Wendy:And he's like, well, it's not wearing a condom. It's not a d*** at us. And then they put a little blue hat on it.
>> Bridget:Yes. With a reservoir tip.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:God. It p***** him off so bad. He ran out onto the field. Know the pitch.
>> Wendy:I know that from Ted Lasso.
>> Bridget:And started wailing on him. It was so great. Which interrupted the play.
>> Wendy:Yes.
>> Bridget:But no, it didn't. But it f***** up the last play. Brazil is f****** p***** because they won. Technically.
>> Wendy:Yeah. If Mark Wahlberg's head hadn't been in the way, it would have been a goal. Well, maybe it is true. The fact that they couldn't redo the play doesn't seem right to me.
>> Bridget:Did redo the play and Argentina won. That's why Brazil hates them. El stupidos.
>> Wendy:El stupidos.
>> Bridget:I think that Elijah should have turned his T shirt inside out immediately because it said New York City on it. Come on.
>> Wendy:They were not incognito at any point. Even though they knew that they were like fugitives.
>> Bridget:Right.
>> Wendy:And they're still walking around wearing the same clothes and not being discreet.
>> Bridget:No.
>> Wendy:And loud a** American chased by a whole mob.
>> Bridget:Even the woman with this baby in a stroller sees them, turns her a** around and starts running. It's like running with the bulls.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:Just a whole horde of people.
>> Wendy:One question I had is like, does the World cup or a country really have official products like that? Maybe the World cup does, but they're like, this is now the official condom of Argentina.
>> Bridget:Maybe.
>> Wendy:Do countries do that? Do we have like, official condom of the America? Yeah.
>> Bridget:Well, the official. No official condom of a country. But I could totally see official condom of this is the condom we're gonna advertise.
>> Wendy:Yes.
>> Bridget:During the game. Do they kind of have categories? Like, we need a cell phone company. We need a condom company. You know, they're not gonna have like a Calvin Klein app. That doesn't make sense. A sports drink?
>> Wendy:Yeah, for sure. They have their pillars. And you're also constantly getting pitched by things too. Even if it's not something you would have thought pitched on a pitch. Exactly.
>> Bridget:Don't get pitched on the pitch. Look away, look away.
>> Wendy:Yeah, I think they missed an opportunity. They even put in a karaoke scene, which I'm like, wow, this is unnecessary, but you need to have one in everybody comedy.
>> Bridget:It was a good one, though.
>> Wendy:They did. Yeah, they did. Somebody that I used to know, which I thought was really funny choice, but they maybe missed the mark when they could have done a Marky Mark song.
>> Bridget:Oh, what are Marky Mark songs? I can't think of one.
>> Wendy:I can't think of one. I can picture the video. He's wearing, like, low rise jeans with his underwear out the top as of. Was the style.
>> Bridget:Speaking of Calvin Klein.
>> Wendy:Yeah, exactly.
>> Bridget:Oh, I don't write stuff that's New
>> Wendy:Kids on the Block. That's Mark's brother, Donnie Wahlberg.
>> Bridget:Donnie.
>> Wendy:Donnie, who is now married to Jenny McCarthy.
>> Bridget:Yeah, they're still going strong.
>> Wendy:That scene was funny. I think the funniest thing to me was the. When they met the environmentalist in the Amazon and they accidentally kill a crocodile caught on camera.
>> Bridget:Yeah.
>> Wendy:They don't realize it got on camera. I don't think you realize until you see the security footage that they ate. Ate the crocodiles too.
>> Bridget:And they're just sitting there. What is it? On its back? And they each have, like a whole part of its leg with the claws and everything.
>> Wendy:And they're like high fiving the claws.
>> Bridget:They're just eating an alligator rock.
>> Wendy:Yeah. Gross.
>> Bridget:Have you had alligator?
>> Wendy:I have. They serve it at Billy's and I have had it, but it's like inside of a thing that's fried and stuff. So it's like. I don't know. It tastes like any other meat, really. I've had frog legs just, like, grilled before.
>> Bridget:I've had rattlesnake fried in a pan. And I just took tiniest piece just to say I did. Everybody else was, you know, egging me on. Yeah, just sniff it. Just take a sniff.
>> Wendy:You're like, no, I haven't eaten meat nine years.
>> Bridget:Yeah, it is true. I mean, meat.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:I mean, I allowed fish in. I didn't think about reptiles.
>> Wendy:Yeah. Is that fish adjacent?
>> Bridget:Yeah. After I tried all the meats, I decided I don't. I don't think a whole lot of meat is for me.
>> Wendy:Yeah.
>> Bridget:Once in a while, some chicken, but d*** it, I just. It's hard to get out of your head what it is.
>> Wendy:I try not to think Right. We all do. I mean, nobody's like, no. Eating a steak and, like, thinking about the cow's face, but, you know.
>> Bridget:Or those delicious hog cheeks.
>> Wendy:I do remember Matt talking nuts over him. Shout out to Matt. I doubt he's listening, but no, he is not.
>> Bridget:I can guarantee it. Not a lot of boys, I think.
>> Wendy:No, our.
>> Bridget:They're missing out.
>> Wendy:When I look at our stats, it's overwhelmingly women, of course.
>> Bridget:Yeah, but that's true of all podcasts, I would say. Few have a mixed audience. It's the subject matter that dictates.
>> Wendy:That dictates.
>> Bridget:Dictates.
>> Wendy:I don't know if we could end it better than that.
>> Bridget:I don't either.
>> Wendy:Dictate. I think we did it.
>> Bridget:We flick some. Be okay.
>> Wendy:Love you.
>> Bridget:Bye. Bye. Party all night long.
